Things I learned from my kids;

• 1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
• 2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
• 3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
• 4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
• 5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
• 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
• 6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes
• it does not leak - it explodes.
• 7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
• 8. LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old
• 9. Super glue is forever.
• 10. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
• 11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
• 12. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
• 13. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
• 14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
• 15. The fire department in Bakersfield has at least a 5 minute response time.
• 16. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
• 17. It will however make cats dizzy.
• 18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.