The clothes you wear, your home furnishings and the car you drive all give
clues to your sexual personality. The key is the colors you select for your
possessions. Most people claim they haven't a favorite color. But look
around you, and you'll notice a pattern, especially in your clothing and
home decor. The predominant color for you is the one that appears most
frequently -- it's the one that mirrors the sexual you.
A panel of psychologists, speaking at the 1996 Home Interior Design Forum,
explained the association between color and sexual patterns.


RED: People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily
aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is
ignited, it may take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together, the
ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be
aggressors and weaker colors should be aware.


YELLOW: If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are complex and turn
toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is yellow. But don't
panic -- not everyone who wears yellow is gay. In most cases the person will
consent to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will
never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation
from somebody you enjoy or admire.


PINK: Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters:
women tend to tease, to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some
cases they flaunt their femininity -- but because they secretly hate men. A
great percentage of prostitutes boast entire wardrobes in pink. Men who like
pink are the philanderers and flirts. They are the type who will make three
dates for the same evening and not keep one, preferring to pick up a dish in
some bar instead. Women whose husbands like pink should keep a secret nest egg.


PURPLE: Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves to be too
sophisticated for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who
hate to mess their hair. Men are business-like in their approach to
lovemaking. In both sexes purple partners are more concerned with their
fulfillment than anyone else's gratification.


BLACK: Black color preference point to black sex (not necessarily meaning
black partners). These people are the misfits of the sex world and seek out
each other in kinship. They tend to prefer perverted sex and are usually
masochistic or sadistic in nature. They are moody people and often perform at their peak
when under stress or during unhappy times. Police psychiatrists claim that
sex offenders prefer the color black. And it is no coincidence that the
uniform of mobsters and teenage gangs is black attire.


GREEN: Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their approach to
sex. Women who love green will always make love like virgins all their life.
And a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward but in a charming and
endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If
chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.


ORANGE: Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual fantasies. The sex act
is regarded as a dramatic one-act play in which they are the star. Foreplay
is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings, meaningless
dialogue; they feel it is their image. Orange people often do not experience
orgasm -- but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their partner's
hair, and women leave red welts on the sex partner's back.


BROWN: If you love brown, you're a real treasure for the right mate. Brown
lovers tend to be warm and deep, sensitive to the needs and desires of their
partners. Sex is a 24 hour a day thing. Where you can't say, "I love you"
often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching
snowflakes on their tongue is a turn-on to a lover of brown. They need lots
of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh
word could end the affair.


GRAY: The color gray a preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't
get excited about anything -- including color -- so they choose a
noncommittal shade. Men who prefer gray look at sex as a way of relieving
tension -- but nothing more, nothing less. It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
Women don't make love, they have intercourse. And for one of two reasons
only: to accommodate their mate, or to become pregnant. They count the
cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. But
when teamed with another color, the gray spouse considers the other's infidelity a blessing. When a gray marries another gray, the marriage is made in heaven.


BLUE: Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sinners,
affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider love
making a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like
concert pianists, delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a
baby grand. Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are
exciting partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal wave rather
than fiery aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath
of lovemaking, as much as the sex act itself. In marriage a blue person is a
wonderful mate -- never seeking outside interests.


WHITE: If a person is infatuated with white, sex often seems filthy. These
people are puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make love
in the daylight in unheard of. Women who love white will undress beneath the
covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. These people still use
pet names for their genitals.

MY COLOR IS PLAID!!